Self-harm is often associated with physical acts such as cutting, burning, or hitting oneself. However, it can also manifest through emotional pain, which is less visible. Although self-harm has traditionally been linked with physical harm, it is now widely recognized that intentional emotional distress can also be a form of self-harm, with the key factor being intentionality. Understanding this phenomenon is crucial in recognizing and addressing the complexities of self-
destructive behaviors. In the following discussion, we will delve deeper into this issue.
What is Emotional Self-Harm?
Emotional self-harm refers to the act of intentionally causing psychological distress or pain to oneself. This can manifest in various ways, such as engaging in negative self-talk, ruminating on past traumatic experiences, seeking out content that triggers negative emotions, engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors that perpetuate feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness, and enduring or remaining in relationships where one is not valued or respected. Unlike physical self-harm, emotional self-harm does not leave visible scars and can go unnoticed by others, which can make it more challenging to detect and address.
The Nature of Intentional Emotional Pain:
Intentional emotional pain involves knowingly seeking out or perpetuating situations, thoughts, or behaviors that evoke negative emotions. People may engage in these behaviors as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, numbness, or a sense of emptiness. For some, it serves as a form of self- punishment, driven by feelings of guilt or low self-esteem. Others may use emotional self-harm as a means of exerting control over their internal struggles or as a misguided attempt to feel something amidst emotional numbness.
Unfortunately, some people have become so accustomed to these negative feelings that they begin to accept them as the norm and settle for less.
Overtime, this pain builds up and gradually affects the mindset of a person and subsequently their way of life and the decisions they make as they begin to feel negativity as the norm and positive spaces and situations as something they might never experience.
Is Emotional Self-Harm a Type of Self-Harm?
The topic of intentional emotional pain and whether it falls under the category of self-harm is a complex and ongoing debate. Although emotional self-harm doesn’t result in a physical injury like other self-harming behaviors, it shares similar underlying mechanisms and consequences. Both types of self-harm involve a desire to alleviate emotional distress but through different means.
Emotional self-harm can be just as detrimental to one’s mental health and well- being, if not worse, as it is harder to detect. It can lead to increased feelings of despair, isolation, and hopelessness.
Factors Contributing to Emotional Self-Harm:
Various reasons may contribute to the emergence and persistence of emotional self-harm behaviors. These reasons include past traumatic experiences, unresolved emotional problems, dysfunctional coping mechanisms, and underlying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder. Moreover, societal stigma regarding mental health, as well as a lack of comprehension or support, can intensify feelings of self-blame and shame, which can further worsen emotional self-harm tendencies.
Emotional Self-Harm and Relationships:
Individuals who engage in emotional self-harm often find themselves in environments where they are not respected or acknowledged. They may also have close relationships with people who undermine their self-esteem and cause them to have a negative perception of themselves.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult for these individuals to leave such situations, and they often go through life trying to please those who devalue them, which ultimately harms them.
Addressing Emotional Self-Harm:
Recognizing and addressing emotional self-harm requires a compassionate and holistic approach. This approach involves identifying underlying triggers and coping mechanisms, fostering self-awareness, and self-compassion, and developing healthier coping strategies. Therapy, particularly cognitive- behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), or acceptance
and commitment therapy (ACT), can be instrumental in helping individuals understand and modify their thought patterns and behaviors.
Moreover, creating a supportive environment where individuals feel safe and validated in expressing their emotions without judgment is essential. Education and destigmatization efforts can also help raise awareness about the complexities of self-harm, including emotional self-harm, and promote empathy and understanding within communities.
It’s important to understand that self-harm can take different forms, not just physical harm. Emotional self-harm is when someone intentionally causes themselves psychological distress as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or as a form of self-punishment. This type of self-harm can be just as harmful as physical self-harm, but it’s less visible. Getting support from mental health experts and undergoing therapy can help those who suffer from emotional self- harm. It can help them unlearn negative self-perceptions, build their self-worth and self-esteem, and learn ways to live more fulfilling lives. At Mycarebuddy, we’re passionate about helping people become the best versions of themselves and live their lives free from external opinions and validation

underlying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or borderline
personality disorder. Moreover, societal stigma regarding mental health, as well
as a lack of comprehension or support, can intensify feelings of self-blame and
shame, which can further worsen emotional self-harm tendencies.
5. Emotional Self-Harm and Relationships:
Individuals who engage in emotional self-harm often find themselves in
environments where they are not respected or acknowledged. They may
also have close relationships with people who undermine their self-esteem
and cause them to have a negative perception of themselves.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult for these individuals to leave such
situations, and they often go through life trying to please those who
devalue them, which ultimately harms them.
6. Addressing Emotional Self-Harm:
Recognising and addressing emotional self-harm requires a compassionate and
holistic approach. This approach involves identifying underlying triggers and
coping mechanisms, fostering self-awareness, and self-compassion, and
developing healthier coping strategies. Therapy, particularly cognitive-
behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), or acceptance
and commitment therapy (ACT), can be instrumental in helping individuals
understand and modify their thought patterns and behaviours.
Moreover, creating a supportive environment where individuals feel safe and
validated in expressing their emotions without judgment is essential. Education
and destigmatization efforts can also help raise awareness about the
complexities of self-harm, including emotional self-harm, and promote empathy
and understanding within communities.
It’s important to understand that self-harm can take different forms, not just
physical harm. Emotional self-harm is when someone intentionally causes
themselves psychological distress as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions
or as a form of self-punishment. This type of self-harm can be just as harmful as
physical self-harm, but it’s less visible. Getting support from mental health
experts and undergoing therapy can help those who suffer from emotional self-
harm. It can help them unlearn negative self-perceptions, build their self-worth
and self-esteem, and learn ways to live more fulfilling lives. At Mycarebuddy,
we’re passionate about helping people become the best versions of themselves